Lost in London
by T3hG33k
Summary: The London Housekeeper has disappeared and it's Lady Rose's first season. There's only one logical solution... Mrs. Hughes has to come to London immediately. Season 3 spoilers. Rated T for now, though knowing me as I do...it'll probably become an M in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for Peekaboo003 who gave me the idea. Hope you like it 3 It'll be a T until further notice **

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, Fellowes does. If I did...well I'd be rich and there'd be a lot more going on between the Butler and the Housekeeper ;-)**

The season had only just begun, Lady Rose's first with the family at that, and yet when they arrived at the London house it was in a state of panic. The housekeeper had up and gone, packed her things and simply left. Carson stood in the hallway in utter shock, bags in hand he shook his head. What on Earth would they do now? Depositing his bag in his pantry he composed his thoughts for a few moments before heading upstairs to break the news to the family. There was only one solution in his mind, Mrs. Hughes had to come up. He knew she didn't know the house or the staff, but he knew she could bring order to a pack of wild dogs if she needed to.

Climbing the stairs he sought out his Lordship, still unsure of how exactly to break the news.

"Ah Carson there you are! How is everything downstairs?" Roberts voice emerged from the doorway of the library, the house seemed to be in more of an uproar than usual. He knew things could be hectic on the first night, but it seemed even more off than usual.

"Actually M'Lord I was just coming to find you. It seems we have a small problem. Mrs. James seems to have left M'Lord. Janie said she was here last night and gone this morning. No notice, no letter, her rooms are empty."

"You're not serious!" Taking one look at the butlers face, his own jaw dropped. "You are. What are we to do? I can hardly go and hire a housekeeper off the street...Do you know of Janie is ready for the task full time?"

"What about sending for Mrs. Hughes M'Lord? I'm sure she can assess what needs to be done and see to either preparing Janie or finding a replacement for Mrs. James." If he was completely honest he would love for her to be here with him, to show her the city on their half days. He'd never tell her that though, but he would gladly use the disappearance of Mrs. James to bring her here.

"Yes...yes I think that would be best. I'm sure Anna will do fine taking over for the season, with Mary home she'll be there anyhow. Call Downton immediately, see to it that she's on the very next train to London."

"Yes M'Lord" Turning Carson made his way back downstairs to phone for Elsie.

The conversation wasn't a long one. She was shocked, but agreed to come. How could she deny it really? She only had one request, it was silly really. She'd asked him to meet her at the station. She had been to London before, but never alone and she wasn't entirely sure how to find her way from the train to the house.

As she hung up the phone she sighed. London...for the season, or at least part of it anyways. She needed to speak with Lady Mary, and then Anna, as well as get herself packed and on the next train. First things first, she had to see to her ticket, once that task was done she made her way upstairs in search of Lady Mary.

Partway up the stairs she stopped as Alfred passed with a tea tray, there was only one person it could be for so she stopped him. "I'll take it up Alfred, I need to speak with Lady Mary anyways." Taking the tray from him with a smile she continued up to the sitting room and then inside with the tray.

"Oh Mrs. Hughes, I wasn't expecting you..." Mary glanced up expecting Alfred of Jimmy, and feeling a wave of relief as she saw the older woman. They had by no means become close friends since Matthews death, but they were both kinder to each other. It had been Mrs. Hughes who'd come to Annas rescue when she had locked herself in her rooms. The stern but gentle push to at least care for herself had been exactly what she needed.

"I told Alfred I'd bring it up M'Lady, I needed to speak with you anyways. I've received a call from Mr. Carson, it appears Mrs. James has left with no warning. They would like me to come up on the next train to get the house settled. I had thought to send Anna, but felt she would be better here." With you, she thought. Anna may be only a maid to Lady Mary, but there was an undeniable friendship there. Pouring the tea she carried the cup over to Mary.

Taking the cup she sighed soflty, "No, that's fine...you must go Mrs. Hughes. I'm sure we can manage. If you're not there we both know Carson will work himself into a state, and neither of us want to see that again." She cast a knowing look to the house keeper, wondering how much longer it would take the two of them to throw propriety to the wind and get on with it already.

With a smirk she nodded, "Yes he will. I'll settle things with the staff then and be off this evening. Is there anything else you need M'Lady?"

"Just take care of them Mrs. Hughes..."She trailed off sipping her tea before looking up once more a grin spreading across her face, "And tell Carson he's to take you out to dinner for coming to the rescue."

"I think I'll do just that M'Lady." With a smile Elsie left the room shutting the door behind her once again.

Calling the staff together she passed on the news, and the plans for what would be happening. She still expected the rooms to be thoroughly cleaned, Thomas was to make certain the footmen polished the silver as Mr. Carson had asked. Looking at the clock she sighed, she only had three hours to pack and get to the train station on time, at least she had been smart enough to call for the car. Climbing the stairs she packed quickly.

Mrs. Patmore, the dear woman, had packed her a small basket of food for the trip. Anna accepted the keys with a smile, glancing to the grinning Mrs. Patmore, "You're not getting the key from me. I value my job too much for that." The three of them shared a laugh as Elsie rushed out to the car.

"You know where I am if you need anything...please don't burn the place down while I'm gone. And for Heavens sake...don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

She'd gotten to the station on time and into the car before the nerves hit her. The uncertainty. She'd never gone to London for the season, the few times she had been there were short trips to help Anna or to look for work before coming to Downton. And then there was the fact that she would be able to spend this time with him, time she never got to spend with him. There was a certain excitement in sharing this aspect of his life, though she'd certainly never admit it to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Still don't own em, Fellowes won't give them to me and he won't do what I want with them. So...I'm borrowing them to do just that.**

The train ride wasn't too long, she'd picked at the food in the basket a bit. Watched the scenery as the sun set, and attempted to read her book, nothing was helping her nerves any. What if he didn't get the message with the time to pick her up? She was sure if it came down to it she could find her way to the house, but the thought wasn't a pleasing one. As the train pulled into King's Cross Station she began to gather her things, he had only the basket of food, her small bag and one small trunk, making sure her hat was in place and her jacket buttoned she stepped out of the car and took a moment to look around. Even late in the evening the station was busy, Gathering her bag and basket in one hand, and her trunk in the other she took a few steps forward.

Where was that man? She should have been able to see him, at least she'd hoped she would. She'd asked that he pick her up for a few simple reasons. The first being that he was tall and she hoped to see him over the top of the crowd, the second being that she knew him well enough that she could pick him out of a crowd easily. The problem was, this wasn't home and there were quite a few tall men milling about. Turning in a slow circle she sighed and drew her bottom lip between her teeth in concentration. A few more steps forward, and then she stopped turning once more. The hand on her shoulder, took a few years off her life easily. She jumped, a light yelp passing her lips as she spun to face whomever it was.

Carson laughed softly, "I'm sorry to have startled you Mrs. Hughes, you were looking a little lost."

Elsie glared up at him for a moment , "You're going to be the death of me... you know that?"

With another laugh he reached to take the trunk from her, his fingers brushing over hers and lingering longer than necessary, "I'm glad you came. Really, I'd be...we'd be lost with out you." Mentally shaking his head at his admittance he shifted the trunk to his other hand and offered her his arm.

"Yes well...your Lady Mary said that you're to take me to dinner for coming to your rescue. I may have to hold you to her suggestion." She took his arm, standing a little closer than necessary, her body brushing against his as they walked.

Smiling he led her to the car, "I think I can manage that, are you hungry now?" He wasn't going to admit to even himself that he pulled her closer because he wanted her close, it had nothing to do with the crowd. As they reached the car he set her trunk in the boot before helping her inside.

"No, not especially. And Mrs. Patmore sent me off with a basket." Holding the basket up she smiled watching him take the seat next to her, "There's even an extra slice of apple tart. I wonder who ever that could be for?"

He groaned involuntarily, "You're going to find you miss that woman while you're here, I am sorry if this interrupted any...plans you had." He knew that the season was when she caught up on things she couldn't do the rest of the year. Altering her dresses, reading, general down time.

"It's not your fault, we'll get things straightened out. Besides I've never been to London for the season, it'll be a new adventure. And we'll save a bit on postage not having to write about what's going on now won't we?"

"An adventure indeed Mrs. Hughes. I don't know what state she left her room in, I asked Janie to see that the linens were changed and that it was cleaned up. His Lordship would like to see you when we get in and then you're free for the rest of the night to get settled in..."

She nodded, watching the city pass by out the window. He happily watched her, wanting desperately to reach out and tuck the loose strand of hair behind her ear. As the car pulled up to the house he smiled and climbed out offering her assistance, "Here we are then."

Taking his hand she smiled looking first at him, and then to the house. Gathering her bag and basket she waited for him to lead the way with her trunk.

Carson lead her through the servants entrance and up the stairs to the bedroom that would be hers. Brushing stray thoughts from his head. The walls seemed thinner here than they were at Downton. Add to that that her bedroom was an exact mirror of his, he knew that he would hear every time she turned over in bed. Suddenly he was very grateful that he was in front of her, his face hidden from her view. Pushing the thoughts further aside he opened her bedroom door and carried the trunk inside setting it on the floor next to her bed.

"Who knew this is what it'd take to get you into my room?" As soon as the words were out she flushed a deep crimson. That was an inside thought... those words weren't supposed to pass her lips. Ever. "I mean..Uhm...Thank you Mr. Carson, I'd like to clean up before you show me to his Lordship."

With his jaw hanging slack he simply stood there staring at her, the color rising to his own cheeks rapidly. With a nod he moved to the door, stopping when he was right next to her. Glancing down he watched as she twisted her fingers together nervously. Leaning over he spoke with his lips near her ears, his voice a mere whisper. "All you ever had to do was ask."

Straightening back to his full height he left heading back down stairs and directly to his pantry. Sorting the silver mentally, it would work. Eventually. Though a cold bath would have taken the thoughts away much, much quicker.

Elsie turned quickly, her eyes wide as he left. Had she really just...and had he just... oh London could prove to be an adventure indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yeah still not mine... :( Still going to make them do what I want though. **

**A/N 2: I have no idea yet how long this is going to be or how often I'll update. Today has been a lucky day with the kids co-operating though!**

Elsie took her time getting cleaned up and changed, it was much needed time. She had to calm herself, to stow her thoughts. Bury them deeper before she opened her mouth in his presence again. Basket in hand she slowly made her way down the stairs and stopped to speak with Lord Grantham on her way down, knocking that task off her check list. From there she wandered down to the servants hall looking around. It was smaller than the one at home, but there was much less staff here too.

Mr. Bates descended the stairs and she turned with a smile, "Mr. Bates, it's nice to see you. I believe I've got something in here for you" Holding up the basket she moved to set it down on the table before shuffling through the contents.

"Mrs. Hughes! Our reinforcements have arrived." With a smile he followed her to the table, "Something for me? Let me guess Anna fears I'm not being fed and watered all the way up here?"

Charles heard her voice and smiled a bit and stood from behind his desk. The sooner she spoke with Lord Grantham the sooner he could give her a full tour of the house...or even share a glass of wine in his pantry or her newly acquired sitting room even. Standing in the doorway of the servants hall he watched the exchange with a light smile.

"Well that I'm sure... and Mrs. Patmore fears you'll all be lost without her apple tart." Pulling out a wrapped slice of apple tart she handed it to him and gave him a light pat on the shoulder. She glanced to the door with a smile and pulled out another, slightly larger, slice of apple tart and carried it across the room to Carson. "Mr. Carson, your apple tart."

John glanced to Mr. Carson with a grin, "I'd say she's hired...what say you Mr. Carson?"

Taking his tart he smiled one of those rare, broad smiles and nodded, "Oh I agree Mr. Bates. Definitely." Giving the man a nod he turned his attention to Mrs. Hughes, "Shall we go up and see his Lordship then? Get that out of the way..."

"I've already seen him, on my way down stairs. I did the one thing I'd hoped not to and found myself on the wrong stair case like a first time house maid. I paid for my transgressions with a slice of apple tart...and now that you two have got yours, I'm cleaned out."

"Well then, how about tea and a chat while we figure out what we're going to do about this mess?"

"Very well, lead the way Mr. Carson." Watching as he turned and walked back to his pantry, she bit her lip very gently again. Shaking her head she followed, really this was too much. She was a grown woman and yet here she was acting like a giddy little school girl.

As he held the door open for her he couldn't help but inhale deeply as she brushed past him. Stepping inside he set his tart down and headed to make the tea. "Make yourself comfortable, who knows if there's water hot or not."

While he was busy in the kitchen she pottered about his pantry, nothing more than she did at home. She didn't want to pry, at least not too much. Looking over the small collection of framed photos she felt the color rise to her cheeks as she glanced at the one of them together. Lady Grantham had insisted the staff all had their photos taken, 'for the future' she had said. And here on his desk framed was the one that a young Lady Mary had demanded. Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes standing side by side. Lost in thought, she muttered softly to herself. Unaware he'd come back into the room, "Where on Earth did you find that thing?"

"Lady Mary gave it to me, halfway through her first season here. She said she knew I missed you because I was being crabby like Mrs. James."

Turning she smiled watching him pour the tea, "Oh really? You were crabby so that meant you missed me? Why on Earth would she have thought that?"

"Oh...well...she asked me what I did here in the evening. I told her nothing much, checked inventory and menus. Made certain things were ready for dinners and balls. Then she asked what I did at home, and I told her much of the same except usually I had your company for tea. As well as your help with the ledgers." Turning he handed her a cup of tea and motioned for her to sit down on one of the arm chairs, "The next evening she brought me the photo and it's been there ever since."

Sitting down she sipped at her tea, "I see. And...do you miss me while you're here?" Avoiding his gaze she felt her cheeks flush a bit once more.

His hand hovered, holding a knife over the now unwrapped apple tart. "Yes Mrs. Hughes, I do. I miss you while I'm here and you're in Downton." His voice was soft, a bit hoarse even. He cut the slice in half and placed each slice on a plate, handing one to her he took the other and his cup and sat across from her. Noting that she still wouldn't look at him. What was it about her being here that loosened his tongue? And hers for that matter, could it be that outside of the house they were just another pair of faces in the crowd? Especially he, there were a few people here that he knew but none that he would really run into randomly. "I'm sorry Mrs. Hughes, you must find me very forward. I'm not sure what has gotten into me today."

Shaking her head she smiled a bit before finally looking up at him. "No, I don't. I miss you while you're away too you know. Anna tries to keep me company but it's just not the same. Now eat your tart while you tell me what usually goes on around here."

Smiling at her confession he nodded and began explaining the ins and outs of the London season. It wasn't really much different, but it could be draining. With it being Lady Rose's first with the family they would most likely be hosting a few events. With their tea and tart gone he glanced over to her once more. "Shall I give you the quick tour before bed?"

"Please." Standing she gathered her dishes and his and set them on the tray, "You can start by showing me to the kitchen so we can take care of these."

With a nod he led her to the kitchen and helped her wash their dishes before offering her his arm and leading her through the house. Everyone else was in bed already and he needed to do his nightly door checks anyways. He stopped at the foot of the stairs leading to the womens quarters. "I'll be right next door if you need me. The door here doesn't lock, but there are only men here during the season. This year just Mr. Bates and myself, there are two footmen who come in as needed but they live close by."

They were standing closer than they should be once again, her hand still on his arm. Bringing his other hand up he gave hers a soft pat, "Goodnight Mrs. Hughes."

"Goodnight Mr. Carson, I'll see you in the morning." Smiling she let go of him and made her way up the stairs and to her room. She wasn't betting on getting much sleep, at least not tonight. Sleeping in a strange place, in a bed that wasn't her own. In a house that made different noises, she wouldn't be able to hear her girls settling in for the night either. Sure there was the cook, a couple kitchen maids, and four house maids here, but they weren't her girls. With a sigh she toed off her shoes and began unfastening her dress, and then her corset. Once it was off she let out a content sigh of relief and flopped down on the bed staring at the ceiling. She never expected to hear Charles Carson...singing softly through the wall next to her head.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Nope they still won't come live with me, I can't pay them what Fellowes does.**

Elsie hadn't slept much in the week and a half since she'd been in London. She could tell Charles hadn't either, and she knew that was her fault. Stepping into his pantry she smiled at him nodding off behind his desk. "Are you sure you can do without me this afternoon. Perhaps we should switch half days and you should go take a nap..."

His eyes snapped open and he shook his head, "No I'm fine. Are you sure you don't want me to have someone go with you?"

"No Mr. Carson, I'm a big girl I'll be fine. If I get lost I'll find a phone and call and you can come find me." She rolled her eyes as she buttoned her jacket up. "I'll be back in a few hours. Janie knows what the maids are to be doing while I'm gone."

"Alright. I'll see you later then. Do stay out of trouble Mrs. Hughes."

With another roll of her eyes she made her way out the door and into the streets of London. Taking in the sights, the sounds, the smells. She wandered somewhat aimlessly for nearly an hour before realizing she had no idea whatsoever where she was at. Standing in the middle of the sidewalk she spun in a complete circle similar to how she had in the train station. She knew if she found a phone she could call and he would come and find her, but she didn't want to. She wasn't a child. Sighing she pulled her lower lip between her teeth as she turned around once more and took a few steps backwards. She met resistance in her steps and jumped turning quickly to look up at the man she'd run into, "Oh I'm terribly sorry!"

He smiled down at the woman who had just walked into him, one hand on her arm to steady her the other offering her a tip of his hat. "Are you alright? I admit I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been."

The man reminded her of William in a way. His looks mostly, but he was older. Much older than William had been, probably ten years younger than her give or take. A lump formed in her throat at the thought and she simply nodded, "Oh yes...it'd take more than that to cause me harm. I'll just get out of your way." Moving back she stepped to the side to let him pass.

"You're...you're not from the area are you? Forgive me but you look a little lost?"

Biting her lip again she nodded, "A bit." With a light laugh she shrugged, "I'm here to help a friend for a while and wandered a bit too far it seems. Would you happen to know of a place where I could use a phone perhaps?"

Bringing a finger to his lips he glanced around, thinking for a moment. "Ah...yes, I believe there's a tea shop up here that should have one you can use. Allow me to accompany you? I'd be glad to wait until your friend arrives as well." There was a reason he thought of that particular tea shop, Bessie had been ignoring him for days, ever since she had left that damned house where she'd been working. So help him if he ever got his hands on that butler... He knew she'd be coming in to work in a half an hour or so, if he was sitting with another woman perhaps she'd break the silence.

"I would like that, thank you. I think I'd better stay closer to the house next time." With a laugh she turned in the direction he had pointed and followed along side as he walked. "I'm Elsie by the way, Elsie Hughes..."

He smiled as he led her to the tea shop and then inside, "Peter Robinson, at your service." Leading her to the counter he started chatting up the older woman who owned the shop. Having ordered tea for two and sandwiches he pointed towards the phone behind the counter, "You're welcome to use the phone there to call your friend, and then you'll join me for tea Ms Elsie Hughes, while we wait."

"Oh you shouldn't have, but thank you again." Moving around to the phone she offered a smile to the owner and put a call through to Charles, as she waited for him to answer she felt the color rising to her cheeks. Lost. At her age.

He was chuckling... that man, was laughing at her. Oh now she was just angry. Thankfully he knew where the shop was and said he'd be there as soon as he could. He'd even had the audacity to tell her to 'just stay put.' She hung up with a huff and turned back to where Peter had taken a seat. Crossing the room she sat down, picking up the cup in front of her with a content sigh. "So Mr. Robinson, is it often you rescue the lost?"

Laughing he shook his head, "No, not really. I'll admit this is a first. Were you able to get ahold of your friend?"

"Yes, he said he'd be here as soon as he could. I'm sure after he finished laughing at me. I should have just told him to send a car, I know Lord Grantham would have allowed it." Shaking her head she sipped her tea.

"Lord Grantham?" Suddenly this seemed like a very, very bad idea. Bessie had worked for a Lord Grantham. Or maybe this was a good idea, if her friend was the butler he could have words with the man and prove to Bessie he would protect her from such oafs.

"Yes. My employer...our employer. The housekeeper here in London disappeared, when the family arrived for the season. Mr. Carson called and asked me to come from Downton to help until we found a replacement."

He groaned mentally, this poor woman was going to be stuck in the middle of it all now. He doubted she had any idea as to what had gone on...but he still felt badly. "And at Downton you're the housekeeper I'm guessing?"

"Yes. I've been housekeeper for..." She paused, mentally counting, "well long enough." They passed the time chatting, he'd asked her what she'd seen of London so far and what she thought. She asked him what he did. He was a nice enough man, and she insisted on paying for her half of tea. The liquid in her cup had cooled as they chatted, but she didn't mind much.

"Peter Robinson! What do you think you're doing? And with...with her!?" The womans voice seemed to come from no where and Elsie snapped her head up to face the woman who was now standing in front of their table with her hands on her hips.

"I assure you ma'am, there is nothing going on here. I was lost and your...friend helped me find a place to wai..." her words were cut off as the, thankfully not scalding, liquid from her cup was thrown at her. She let out a startled cry.

Charles heard her cry from outside the tea shop and burst through the door, quite ready to throw someone into the street if he needed to. "Mrs. Hughes!"

**A/N: Dun dun dun...I'm so going to leave you hanging there. But hopefully not for long**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I couldn't leave you hanging too long! **

**Disclaimer: I'm sure you know by now...but in case you don't. They belong to Fellowes not me. Except Bessie, Janie, and Peter. Those are mine...All mine!**

"Out! The lot of you get out! And Bessie don't you bother coming back!" The woman behind the counter was furious, though she rushed to Elsie's side, making sure that she was alright. And then promptly ushering the four of them outside and slamming the door shut.

Tears pricked her eyes, the skin of her chest stinging where the tea had burned. Pulling her coat on she glanced to Charles who looked ready to, well she didn't know but it wasn't a good look.

"Mrs. James." He leveled a cold, hard glare on Bessie. One that had left many a footman trembling.

Peter sent Elsie an apologetic glance, this was not what he had hoped for. Not at all. His gaze fell on Carson. "So you're the one huh? Thinkin' it's ok to take advantage of the women that work with you huh?"

Bessie's eyes widened. Her own lies coming back to haunt her now. Quickly she grabbed his arm, "Peter...just, don't. Forget about it. Let's go...Please."

"I what?!" Charles glanced between the pair, and then to Elsie who's eyes were wide and cheeks were stained faintly with the tears that she wasn't able to hold back.

"Getting a girl pregnant and then throwin' her out of the house! How dare you!" Pulling a fist back Peter swung on the larger man just barely grazing across Charles' cheek. Blinking in confusion Charles just stood there.

"I've never...what are you..."

That was enough. There were a few things she could not, and would not stand for. One of those things happened to be bringing any harm, physical or otherwise, to Charles Carson. Her own small hand curled into a fist and she threw a punch of her own. She may be a woman, and she may have spent most of her life working in a grand house, but there were things that never left you when you grew up on a farm. Throwing a decent punch was one of those things. She had however, forgotten just how much it hurt. At least until she pulled her hand back from Peters already swelling jaw. Looking to Bessie, her eyes were still full of that fire. "You had better sort yourself out girl, and don't you be putting the blame on someone who was miles away from you when you got yourself into trouble."

The blow sent him flailing back wards to the ground, his hand covering his jaw as he groaned. Elsie leveled her glare onto him and he scooted himself further back quickly.

"And you would do good to find a woman who didn't lie to you." Turning she took hold of Charles arm and led him down the street. Not a clue as to where she was going but she was getting them both away from there, and quickly.

They walked in silence, he finally took the lead and started them towards home. "Mrs. Hughes?"

She was still fuming, her chest burned and her hand ached. "Yes Mr. Carson?"

Coming to a stop he put his hand on the small of her back. "First, remind me to never...ever make you angry again and thank you. Second, are you alright?"

Closing her eyes she forced herself to breathe. She was feeling enough things as it was, but his hand there on her back seemed to send flames through the layers and sear into her skin. Her cheeks were flushed from a combination of both the earlier events and his touch. "I'm fine Mr. Carson. Just please take me home."

"Very well." He offered her his arm once again and finished the walk in silence.

He led her straight up to her room, not caring that he was on the womens half of the sleeping quarters. "Go change and come back to my pantry and we'll see to that hand of yours. Is your...I mean...are you... you weren't burned too badly were you? I can send for the doctor?"

"No, I'll be fine." For the first time since the tea shop she took a moment to look at him, a soft gasp escaping, "Oh! Your cheek! You've got a bruise..."

Laughing he nudged her towards the door, "It's quite alright. Go on now. I'll be waiting for you."

As soon as she was inside her room she shut the door and leaned against it. Her knees trembling, drawing her good hand up to her lips she bit back a soft cry. Allowing herself a few minutes to break down before pulling it all together again. Discarding her coat she worked at the buttons of her blouse wincing as her fingers brushed over the reddened flesh. No blisters thankfully, but the area would be tender for a while. Her corset had to come off, and would have to be cleaned sometime soon. She pulled out one of her dresses, and quickly finished changing. Checking her hair in the mirror she carried her hat and coat back downstairs with her. Hanging them on a peg she stood looking out the back door, composing herself a bit more. What was she supposed to say to him? She knew there was no truth in what had been said about him, it was impossible for there to be any truth to it. It had still shaken her a bit though, the realization that she had no idea what he usually did in his off time other than what he told her. She had no idea what sort of relationship he had with the former housekeeper. Groaning to herself she tapped lightly on the door to his pantry before stepping inside.

He stood as she entered, glancing to the pink skin that peeked over the top of her collar. There was nothing he could do to help with that, but he could tend to her hand if she'd let him. He had the first aid kit on his desk and motioned for her to sit down in what was becoming her usual seat. As soon as she did so he carried the kit over and sat it on his chair, kneeling down in front of her. Reaching out he gently took her hand in his looking over the bruised knuckles. The skin was broken in only one spot, bending down he pressed his lips to it lightly.

And at the same moment there was a knock on his pantry door and it swung open. Lord Grantham stood in the door way, his jaw on the floor.

The pair sprung apart and stood quickly. Carson stumbled over his words, "M'Lord? I assure you this is not what it looks like. I was merely tending to Mrs. Hughes hand."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I told them they had to stay put in the box that Fellowes put them in...they won't listen. Even if I can't own them!**

Robert just stood there looking from one to the other. "Then what is...good Lord Carson what happened to your face? And why does Mrs. Hughes need her hand tended to?"

Stepping forward Elsie found her voice to speak, she was still reeling from the sensation of his lips on her hand. "Apparently I found Mrs. James M'Lord. I..." sighing she shook her head mostly at herself, "I was lost and a gentleman helped me find a tea shop with a phone to call Mr. Carson. Apparently Mrs. James told him that Mr. Carson is the father of her unborn child. He threw a punch and I...well..."

"You what Mrs. Hughes?" He tried to keep his face straight, he had a fairly good idea of just what the woman had done, but he wanted to hear it.

"I believe she may have broken his jaw sir." Charles barely contained the proud smile, of course he should have done the job but she'd not left him a moment to react.

The smile spread to his face, and a laugh followed, "I've told you once...I've told you a dozen times Carson. Mrs. Hughes is not a woman to mess with." Turning towards the door he suddenly remembered why he'd come down stairs, "Oh! I just came down to let you know we will be out tonight and returning in the morning sometime. I was on my way out and thought it'd be easier than ringing for you to come up. Tell the staff to enjoy a night off."

"Thank you M'Lord." The pair answered in unison as the Earl left still laughing. She looked up at him feeling the color rush to her cheeks once more.

"Sit back down Mrs. Hughes. I'll inform the staff and be back to tend to that." He didn't wait for a reply just turned and left. He gave the staff their leave, told them to go out, do what they liked for the night and be home by eleven. As they dispersed he smiled, taking a moment to speak with the cook he made sure there was something left behind for anyone who didn't go out and then sent her on her way as well. By the time he entered his pantry again the rest of the staff was quickly filing out the back door.

She had wandered around his pantry a bit, sat for a while, and was wandering again when he opened the door. This place, it had her mind all muddled. She was saying and doing things she never would have done at home, she had a feeling he was too. Stopping in her path she turned to face him, "Mr. Carson... what in the world is wrong with us?"

"I don't know. Something about being here, about you being here. I just. Well you see... I've wanted to be able to share this with you for a very long time. I 'spose I'm acting like an excited school boy aren't I?"

"Shut the door Mr. Carson."

"Yes Mrs. Hughes." Turning he shut the door, listening as the heels of her shoes closed the distance between them, feeling her hand on his shoulder he turned to face her. Those eyes, he could get lost in them and happily never come out.

"Do you think perhaps...that when we're alone you could call me Elsie?" It had been such a very long time since anyone used her first name, at least until today when that man had called her Ms Elsie Hughes. She'd forgotten how nice it was to hear. To be recognized as someone other than just the housekeeper of a grand estate.

Looking down at her still, like this so close and yet not close enough he smiled. A genuine smile, brushing the backs of his knuckles across her cheek tentatively. "Only if you'll call me Charles."

Closing her eyes she turned her face towards his fingers, drawing the contact out as long as she could. "I believe I can manage that. On one condition."

His voice dropped as close to a whisper as possible with the deep baritone of it, "What's that Elsie?" He found that her name wasn't nearly as hard to use as he thought it would be. Perhaps because he almost always thought of her as Elsie... his Elsie.

"Kiss me Charles."

"Gladly." Dipping his head down ever so slowly he brushed his lips across hers. Seeking permission, fearing rejection. He couldn't honestly remember the last time he'd kissed a woman, but it had certainly never felt this important. This right.

Her hands found their way to his chest quite on their own accord, the left smoothing up and to the back of his neck. Gently urging him to come closer, to keep going. She smiled against his lips as his hands pulled her flush against his body, his fingers roamed her back slowly.

As the need for air became too much he pulled back, only far enough to rest his forehead against hers. "Oh Elsie. Why have we waited so long?"

Another smile played at her lips, her sarcasm bubbling to the surface, "Well if I'd known it was going to be like that perhaps I would have found a man and paid him to insult you so that I could punch him years ago."

Laughing softly he found he couldn't bring himself to let go of her, "Speaking of that...perhaps I should finish tending to your hand. And then we can move to your sitting room? I believe you've got much better seating arrangements in there."

"Charles Carson should I worry about your intentions?" With a smirk and a shake of her head she moved to sit down once more to let him do whatever he wished to her hand.

"Probably my dear woman, but... let's not worry about that for now hm?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter remains a T, next chapter the story will most likely move to an "M" rating. You have been warned ;-)**  
**Disclaimer: Fellowes owns them, I'm just showing them a little fun**

They had taken their time in moving to her sitting room. He'd taken his time with cleaning the small scrape on her hand as well as fussing over each bruise. She rolled her eyes the entire time, while it was certainly very sweet, it was also very unnecessary. While she did the rounds he prepared a tray of food and carried it into her sitting room, it wasn't the dinner he apparently owed her but it would do for tonight. He prepared the plates and waited, this sitting room wasn't the same. It wasn't right...it wasn't hers. Her photos weren't on the walls, her little ceramic figures not on the shelves. The desk was bare of her usual papers and her favorite pen, the smell of her didn't cling lightly to the air. It was just all wrong, but it would do until they were home. He hoped beyond all hope that things stayed as they had been the last couple of hours when they returned to Downton.

Elsie was taking her time, trying to familiarize herself with the house still. It was so very quiet, when they were given an evening off at Downton there were still members of the staff that stayed behind. She could only assume that being in a city so much larger than home, people had more to do. It appeared that she and Charles were in fact alone in the house. Mr. Bates had even been given the night off and was no where to be found. Her feet ached and she sighed. With a shrug she toed her shoes off and bent down to collect them, the groan that came from behind her was completely unexpected. Turning she glanced back at Charles with a raised brow, "Everything alright Mr. Carson?"

"Oh yes...quite alright. I was coming to see if I'd lost you."

"No just trying to keep myself straight on what rooms are where. It seems everyone is gone, is it usually like that when you have a night off here?" She walked alongside him as they worked their way back to her sitting room.

"When the family is out for the night sometimes, normally someone stays behind. Either myself or Mrs. James...usually myself. With the house only used during the season for the most part, I believe most of the girls work elsewhere during the rest of the year."

"I see...I don't know what I'd do with all the free time." Laughing she opened the door and then looked back at him quickly. "You prepared dinner? You didn't have to... I would've been fine making us some sandwiches."

"Mrs. Jeffries left food for anyone who stayed behind tonight, I merely brought it in." He ushered her to the chair behind her desk and pulled it out for her to sit down. Once she was seated he removed the cover from her plate and sat down across from her.

"Well thank you all the same." They ate in companionable silence, she was enjoying sitting across from him rather than next to him. Though she tried to hide it as she watched his hands, she didn't find that she cared all that much if he knew either. She'd always been fascinated by them, wondered how they'd feel against her skin. The thoughts flooded her mind and the color began rising to her cheeks and spreading down to her chest.

"Elsie? Are you alright?" His voice was soft, his brow knit as he watched her with a hint of worry.

Snapping her head up she looked at him a bit wide eyed, "What? Oh yes...yes I'm fine. Just miles away."

"Whats on your mind?" Setting his fork down on his empty plate he slowly reached over to take her hand. Standing he rounded the desk never once letting go and pulled her gently to her feet and leading her to the settee.

She followed, her stomach doing little flips and flops. It seemed silly really, she was far too old for this, but she couldn't bring herself to will the feelings away. "Oh nothing. At least nothing that matters much." Sitting down next to him she took things a step further. Sitting much closer than usual her leg resting against his, "What's going to happen now?"

"Well..." Stretching his legs out in front of him and his arm over the back of the settee so that it was around her shoulders. "I would very much like to finish what we started earlier."

He had earned himself another eye roll this time accompanied with a slight swat on the arm. "That's not what I meant and you know it. Charles what are we doing? I don't know... I mean, once we go down this path I don't know if I can go back to how things were before when we get home."

"I don't know, I don't want things to go back to how they were. I'm tired Elsie. Tired of pretending that I don't want this...this and anything else you're willing to share with me." Slowly he moved his arm from the couch to her shoulders urging her to rest back against him. "Even if this is all we share right here."

Pulling her bare feet up onto the settee next to her she leaned back against him slowly. It was something she'd wanted for so very long and now that the opportunity was here she wasn't sure how to react. "Then let's give this a go? Just promise me...promise me that if things don't work we can find a way to still be friends?"

Running his hand up and down her arm he let his cheek rest against her hair. "I have no intention of letting you slip away. Not after all this time. Now...kiss me woman before the flock returns home."

She stood sitting against the opposite corner of the settee, grinning at him. There were things she needed and wanted too, the weight of him over her was one of them. That feeling of being close to him in a way she'd never expected to experience. "You'll have to come get it from me if you want it."

"Is that so? I do suppose it is my job to meet the demands of a lady." Turning he moved to cover her smaller frame, pressing his lips against hers. It wasn't the same as the light kiss they'd shared earlier. It was full of passion and longing, feelings that had been suppressed for years bubbling to the surface all at once. He ran his tongue over her lower lip seeking entrance. Wanting to taste, to explore, to know her better. When he finally pulled away he couldn't keep his lips from her skin, they trailed a path along her jaw and down her neck. Mentally cataloguing every place that made her sigh, prioritizing the spots that made her moan. "Oh Elsie..."

"Charles... don't stop. Please." Her hands had run up his arms, and then to the back of his neck, holding him closer. Urging him on. Fingers ran through the hair at the base of his neck. "Just don't stop"

"As you wish." He smiled against the hollow of her neck, suddenly even more thankful than usual for the lower neckline of her dress. Trailing kisses lower, and then along her collar bone he groaned softly as she pressed up against him. There was no way he would be able to keep himself quiet enough tonight to keep her from hearing him through the wall. He continued kissing, his tongue darting out here and there, his breath cooling the area he'd left moments before.

The sensations were all so wonderful, she'd never had this before. Never experienced something so wonderful, especially not with a man. The words fell from her mouth before she realized what was happening, "I love you Charles. God above I love you."

He kissed his way back up her neck, his tongue flipping over that spot behind her ear. Whispering against her flesh he smiled, "I love you too." Drawing her earlobe into his mouth he sucked gently before moving to press his lips against hers once again. Slipping his arms around her waist he turned the tables pulling her against him as he sat back. Fingers moving over her back slowly he considered his next words for a few moments, fearing it would be too much to ask. "Come to my room tonight? We don't...well...I just mean to sleep. I'm not asking that you"

Reaching her fingers up she pressed them to his lips, effectively silencing him. She could feel exactly what he wanted, and needed against her thigh, she also knew he'd never pressure her to do anything she wasn't certain about. "Yes I'll come... and we'll see what happens from there. Now just hold me for a while before we have to move?"

Smiling he held her close to him, pressing his lips to the top of her head, "I'd love to."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So...uhm not the smut I hinted at, but we'll get there. I promise :-)**

True to his word Charles held her there against him until the back door opened. They talked of this and that and she felt the tension draining from her body slowly, stress she hadn't been aware she'd been holding in. When she heard the squeak of the back door and the laughing house maids she pried her body from his and sat up. Reaching to the floor she pulled her shoes back on before resting her hand on his tight with a smile. Standing she crossed to the small mirror checking her hair. "Once they're in bed I'll come. The mens quarters only have you and Mr. Bates right?"

They both knew if they were to be discovered by the valet their secret was as safe as if nothing had been seen. "Yes, his Lordship decided against bringing in any full time footmen this year, and as you know he requested Alfred and James stay behind with Lady Mary."

Nodding she turned to face him once again with a smile, "Come here then." Holding out her hand she beckoned him to come closer. The moment he obliged she began straightening his clothes. Smoothing her hands over his waist coat lightly and then fixing his tie. Once satisfied she brushed her fingers across his cheek lightly, stretching onto her toes to press a quick, light kiss against his lips.

Collecting their dinner dishes she glanced towards the door when there was a knock, smiling at Mr. Bates as he popped his head inside. "The ducks are all home and headed to bed, I've locked the back door. Goodnight Mrs. Hughes, Mr. Carson."

"Thank you Mr. Bates." Charles offered a nod in the younger mans direction as he took the tray from Elsie.

"Goodnight Mr. Bates, I hope you enjoyed your evening off."

"I did, thank you Mrs. Hughes." With a nod to both he made his own way upstairs and to bed.

Following Charles into the kitchen she set about taking care of their dishes, smiling as he rolled his sleeves up and began drying. Fingers brushing as she handed him various pieces, hips and arms bumping against each other. It was nice, a glimpse of a future she'd only dreamt about. Perhaps a glimpse of a life she would have loved to have, not with Joe...no it would have never been like this with Joe. Leaning over she kissed him lightly on the cheek, "Go on up, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Alright." Bending down he returned her action, kissing her on the cheek his fingers brushing over the back of her neck as he set the towel back on a rack and left her there in the kitchen.

Smiling she finished washing up and headed to her room to change. She knew she couldn't just sit in that room though she'd go crazy. Changing into her night dress and dressing gown she took the time to brush her hair out and braid it before slipping back down stairs. At least she could work on sorting out the linen rota while she waited. What she didn't expect was to doze off at her desk, leaving a long ink mark across the page as her hand slid. Jerking upright she glanced at the time. Everyone should be asleep now, at least she hoped.

Heading for the stairs in a sleepy haze she began to climb them, idly remembering that she'd found the door between the mens and womens quarters had a horrible squeak she took the stairs to the mens quarters. Letting her fingers brush across the wall as she went she turned the handle on the door to his room and slipped inside. untying her dressing gown she laid it over the back of the chair as she climbed into bed next to him.

John rolled to his side throwing his arm around Anna and nuzzling his nose into her hair, only to come to the quick realization that this was not Anna...and he was not at home. He woke fully with a start and sat up, having enough mind to wrap an arm around her to keep her from falling to the floor. Clearing his throat he pressed a hand to her mouth as she yelped and looked up at him in the darkness. "As flattered as I am Mrs. Hughes...I do believe you either came up the wrong stair case or you want the door across the hall."

Eyes wide she stumbled out of his bed grabbing her dressing gown and pressing it against her chest. "Mr. Bate? Oh God...Oh Shit! I'm so sorry..."

John laughed softly holding a hand up to quiet her. "It's fine... really. And your secret, whichever it may be, is safe with me. So of with you now." He couldn't hide the smile on his face or the twinkle in his eye, he had a good idea of which mistake she'd made but he wasn't going to do a thing about it. Good for the two of them if they were finally going to have a life outside of wine lists and linen rotas.

She turned and ran from the room shutting the door behind her only to run directly into Charles' broad chest. "Oh Charles...I'm so stupid."

Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her back into his room silently, "What happened? Why were you in Mr. Bates' room?"

"I fell asleep at my desk and walked into the wrong room. Crawled into bed and found out it wasn't your bed." She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. She felt his laughter before she heard it, her arms moving around him and finally she joined him. It very well could have been an honest mistake of her simply taking the wrong staircase in her half awake state. "At least it was only Mr. Bates."

"Yes, thank God it was only Mr. Bates." He'd eased them backwards towards the bed where he sat down. "I don't suppose you're going to want to stay tonight now hm?" Pulling her gently down onto his lap he ran his hands over her bare arms slowly. He'd honestly never seen this much of her skin bared to him before, her dressing gown was on the floor where she'd dropped it and he found he rather enjoyed the night gown she'd brought with her. The lighter one for the warmer months, the one with short sleeves, he'd only seen it once when she had been mending the hem.

"Of course I want to stay." A shiver ran down her spine at his touch, goose bumps dotting her arms instantly. Oh the things that mans touch did to her. "I don't want to be anywhere else." Leaning her head down she pressed her lips against his neck lightly. Not quite sure of what she was doing, but she smiled at the sudden intake of breath she heard. "I want this more than I can say." Another kiss, and then another, her fingers fumbling with the buttons on his pyjamas. She needed to feel him, his skin against hers. As each button gave way she pressed a kiss to the newly exposed flesh.

"Elsie...if you don't...I'm not going to..." He paused a soft moan passing his lips as her fingers brushed across his chest. "be able to stop."

"So don't stop. Please don't make this end."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This is the chapter that will definitely bump the rating up to an M. If you're not cool with smut you may want to skip this one **

**Disclaimer: See...this is how you can TOTALLY tell that Fellowes owns them and not me.**

Happy to oblige Charles moved so that she was laying back against his pillows, his lips seeking hers quickly. Kissing, nibbling, sucking. He couldn't help himself as he moved to her neck, wanting to hear those sounds she'd made earlier once again. Gathering her night gown in his hand he sighed happily as his knuckles brushed the flesh of her thigh.

She pressed her leg against his hand, her back arching quite on it's own accord. "Charles... the light..." Moaning softly as his lips pressed further down her neck and then along her collar bone.

"What about it?" He paused looking up at her, inching her night gown higher, smiling as she lifted her hips so he could pull it past, and then slipping an arm around her to sit her up so he could remove it.

"Shouldn't we turn it off?" With her bare chest now pressed to his, she was beginning to find she didn't care as much. The thought of him seeing her naked had been frightening at first. She was no young housemaid anymore, gravity and years of hard work had taken a bit of a toll.

Laying her back down he shook his head, "No. I want to see you Elsie...all of you." He eased her once more back onto the bed smiling down at her. He knew he wouldn't last long, no it'd been far too long for that. He wouldn't let this be something quick though. His head dipped again, kissing over her chest slowly once again cataloguing every intake of breath, every moan. As he came to the still pink area of skin where the tea had burned he stopped looking up at her. "Oh Elsie, I'm so sorry."

Prying her eyes open she glanced down at him, her fingers running through his hair, "Whatever for?"

"For that woman throwing tea on you, for you getting lost. I shouldn't have let you go alone..." He resumed his path, avoiding the burned area and kissing down between her breasts.

She laughed, "Like you could've stopped me. You can do a great many things Mr. Carson...but telling me what to do when I've my mind set is not one of them." Her breath hitched as he descended lower, that self conscious voice in her head screaming at her. He didn't seem to mind one bit... but she was afraid. Afraid he'd not like what he saw, he would of course be far too kind to say anything about it she knew, but what if he never wanted her again because of it. Her hands stilled as she drew in a slow, shaky breath.

"You're beautiful Elsie, every part of you. God I've waited so long..." Glancing up at her he smiled, "I meant it." Once she finally locked eyes with him she was lost to the world, grinning he took her nipple between his lips slowly. Almost too slowly, he was rewarded with her body pressing up against his once more, her fingers gripping the back of his head and the bed sheets.

"Charles!" She somehow forced herself to speak quietly. No one had ever done that before, "Please...I need you. I can't..." The words were too hard to find she wanted him everywhere all at once.

He knew exactly what she wanted, but he wasn't ready to give it to her yet. At least not in the way she wanted it. Moving his mouth from one breast to the other he slid his hand down her side and eased her thighs apart. She shivered and groaned arching against him once more. He slipped first one finger in, then another. Curling them ever so slightly as he moved them in and out, his lips working over her neck once again.

She couldn't function, her entire thought process was gone. All that she knew was that this felt glorious, it was an entirely new experience in every way possible. She held tightly to his head and his shoulder murmuring his name over and over. That wonderful pressure building rather quickly, "I want...I need...Charles please...please..." Somewhere in her mind she was aware that she was begging, but she didn't care.

"Let it go love, just let it go. Let me take care of you." He pressed harder, moved his fingers faster, watching her face as she closed her eyes and finally gave in. His hand slowed as she came, but it didn't stop. As he let her orgasm take her he used his free hand to tug his pyjama bottoms off taking his shorts with them. She whimpered as he removed his fingers, not wanting the contact to end, her whimper turning to a gasp as he pressed into her slowly.

"God above Elsie..." He groaned softly pressing his face against her neck as he slid all the way in. Somehow he found the strength to wait and give her time to adjust. Once he was certain she was alright he pulled back slowly, and pressed into her again. Hips meeting hips, he worked to set a rhythm between them and she matched it. Her hands roaming his sides and his back, her legs wrapping around his hips timidly at first.

"I love you." It was the only thing she could find to say, the only thing she wanted to say. Her lips pressed close to his ear as she met his thrusts. She wasn't going to last long that much she knew for certain, she couldn't even remember if she'd ever climaxed with a man before. Not that there had been many, only quick trips behind the barn. "I love you" she whispered again her heels pressing into his lower back urging him on.

He mumbled against her neck as his pace increased, slipping a hand between them he found that sensitive bundle of nerves that he knew would push her over the edge gain and ran the pad of his finger over it until he felt her tightening around him, falling over the edge and taking him with her. His own cry muffled by her neck, hers as she bit down on his shoulder. There would be a mark in the morning for sure, but in a way he was glad. It'd serve as a reminder that this had really happened, it wasn't just another dream.

Waiting a few moments as his breathing slowed a bit rolling to his side he pulled her against him.

Her legs were tangled with his, both of them were still fairly out of breath. Her hand idly played with the hair at the back of his neck, the other reaching to brush the curl back off his forehead. "I've never... no one has ever done that for me."

Pressing a light kiss to her forehead he smiled, "I'd be glad to repeat the performance anytime you wish."

She began to very slowly untangle herself from him, feeling his arm tighten around her waist. "Stay Elsie, please stay"

"Shh I'm not leaving love. Just let me clean up a bit mm?" When he finally let her go she stood crossing to the basin and picking up a flannel. Once she was finished she bent over to pick up her night gown and his pants, smirking softly at the groan she heard from the bed. "Everything alright over there?"

"Oh yes...everything is just fine. I often wondered what you looked like without the dress on when you bent over like that though."

She threw his pants at him, hitting him directly on the face with a laugh. "Did you now? Is that the real reason why you always insist I go up first?" Pulling her nightgown on she waited for him to pull his pants on before pulling the blankets down under him and swatting his hands away as he moved to button his shirt. "Leave it."

"I'll never tell." Stilling his hands he pulled her against him once more as she laid down and then pulled the blankets over the top of them. He brushed the loose strands of hair from her face before tipping her head back and kissing her softly. "I love you."

Smiling she returned his kiss and settled in comfortably next to him. "I love you too. Get some sleep we've got to be up in a few hours."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: A little chapter of fluff for now.**

**Disclaimer: They belong to Fellowes still sadly. Sorry folks.**

Charles woke to a light tapping on his door. He couldn't very well call for the person to come in, not with Elsie sound asleep in his arms, when the door opened a crack he knew for sure they were found out.

"Mr. Carson? You're running late, I can make excuses for one of you two but I don't think it'll go over well if you're both late." John spoke as loudly as he dared through the small opening he'd created. It was bad enough he knew she was in there, he had no desire to see her there.

"Thank you Mr. Bates. I'll be right down." Charles replied running a soothing hand over Elsie's back as she began to stir.

"Go back to sleep Charles, it's only me." Elsie was mumbling in her sleep, he could watch her like this for hours if they had the time. She was so very peaceful, so relaxed, and shortly she'd have to be the stiff, proper housekeeper. It was the moment that he knew he wouldn't die in service, no he would spend his last years with her...like this. If he had his way he'd burn her corset and all of her high necked dresses too.

The door shut and he shifted, slowly untangling his limbs from hers attempting to sort out where he ended and she began. When she began mumbling again he brushed his fingers over her cheek, "Shhh...I'll be back soon."

Easing out of bed he dressed quickly and tore a page out of his journal on the side table. Picking up a pen he simply wrote 'Stay here, I'll be back with breakfast.' Folded it in half and wrote her name on the front before setting it on the side table where she was sure to see it. Leaning forward he pressed a kiss to her forehead before taking the stairs two at a time to the servants hall. Stepping inside he moved directly to his seat looking as Mr. Bates began to speak.

"I ran into Mrs. Hughes this morning Mr. Carson, she hadn't gotten much sleep last night and didn't look well. I told her I'd let you know and sent her up to bed."

"Thank you Mr. Bates, I'll take a tray up after we finish and see how she's doing. Did his Lordship mention what time they would be back today?" As he served his own plate he fixed hers as well, it wasn't something he'd ever done here before though he always gave her the best toast and bacon each morning, as well as made her tea. It hadn't occurred to him that it was odd until he glanced up to see the rest of the London staff looking at him oddly. John came to the rescue once again, with a light joke he knew the housekeeper wouldn't mind...too much.

"Mr. Carson likes to make certain Mrs. Hughes has her breakfast the way she likes it...no one wants the Dragon unleashed upon us. And he said they'd return at eleven, so long as Rose was up and moving in time." With a wink he turned to his plate and began eating. Laughing now and then with the conversations around him. As soon as the staff scattered he began preparing the tray, her tea, her breakfast, a small bud in a vase. He hoped she had read the note and stayed, better yet he hoped she was still in bed. He had the urge to take care of her as if she were one of the ladies of the house. Years of practice made carrying the tray to the attic rooms without spilling anything easy, he let his mind wander as he walked, thinking back to the night before and then to all the wasted nights of the past.

Before he knew it he was at the door to his room and opening it slowly. Peeking in he smiled to see her still asleep, she deserved it. She was always one of the first up and usually the last to bed. Setting the tray on the side table he eased down onto the bed next to her, gently wrapping a strand of hair around his finger. Leaning down he kissed along her forehead and then her cheek, when his lips were next to her ear he whispered as soft as he could, "Time to wake up love."

Groaning softly she rolled onto her back throwing an arm over her face. When she realized how bright it was she nearly sat straight up in bed, the moment her eyes opened the look of confusion washed over her face, followed by panic.

"Hey, hey, it's alright." Smiling down at her, he brushed her hair back out of her face. He rather enjoyed seeing her like this, almost as much as he enjoyed watching her sleep. "Good morning..."

She moved to swing her legs out of bed, "I'm late...what time...I'm still in your room..."

Laughing he caught her and eased her legs back into place, one hand on her back, "It's fine. Mr. Bates woke me in time for me to get downstairs and told the staff you hadn't slept last night and weren't feeling well. I'm glad you got to sleep, I'm only sad I had to wake you, I did however bring you breakfast."

Scrubbing her hands over her face she blushed a deep crimson at the thought of Mr. Bates waking them, "You shouldn't have... but thank you."

Standing he picked up the tray once more and waited for her to situate herself before setting it on her lap, and then sitting down in the arm chair. "The family won't be back until eleven or so, giving us a bit of time. Well giving you a bit of time rather, not that I was suggesting we..."

"Well we could...but then you'd have to get dressed again." Grinning she began to eat her breakfast, she was happier than she'd been in a very long time. The smile on her face wasn't going to be easy to remove, all it took was a glance in his direction to bring it out. "I feel like some giddy school girl, whatever are we going to do. If I walk around looking like I feel the entire house will know in no time."

"I don't know that I care anymore. I like seeing the smile on your face, and I like knowing that I put it there. I've wasted so much time, I should've done something sooner, said something at the very least." His gaze had fallen from her face to his own hands in his lap.

Moving the tray she turned and put her hand on his chin, forcing him to look at her again. "No regrets Charles. No living in the past. Do you understand me? No matter what happens from here on out, no regrets."

Smiling again he lost himself in her eyes, pressing his lips to hers he sighed softly, "No regrets."


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: they popped out of their box again, Sorry Mr. Fellowes I only borrowed them!**

The days had formed weeks, and the weeks had begun stacking up. There were dinner parties and a small ball held in the London home. Elsie was working diligently to train Janie, it would be easier to train someone, than to find a new housemaid right now. Every night was spent in his room, the pair of them crammed into the small single bed, either side by side with both of them teetering on the edge or her smaller body draped over his. Until last night. Last night she never came to his room, he hadn't seen her after dinner now that he thought about it. He should have never opened his mouth, should have never said that dreaded phrase. "But Mrs. James always..."

She'd taken a tray to her sitting room this morning before he'd even made it downstairs for breakfast. They'd had fights like this before, she always avoided him until her anger subsided enough to speak to him without taking his face off. This felt different though, they were different. Sitting at her desk she idly moved the spoon around in her cup, her toast untouched on the plate. She knew Lady Grantham would be calling for her at some point to discuss the housekeeper position, and at the moment she had no desire to meet with the woman. Glancing towards the door as she heard his unmistakable foot steps pause, she mentally groaned, and then sighed softly as he passed and continued on to his pantry. She knew she needed to speak with him, she just didn't want to.

Standing once she was sure he'd shut himself in she carried her tray to the kitchen and passed it off to one of the kitchen maids with a forced smile. Turning she made her way out the back door needing fresh air to combat the feeling of being suffocated.

He knew her step as well as she knew his, when he heard her go out the back door he nearly went after her. No she wasn't going wandering again, he couldn't let her get lost once more. No, she wouldn't go too far he knew she had a meeting with her ladyship today, but still... he was angry. If he was honest with himself he was afraid, her temper always put him in his place. This time was different though, he was afraid of loosing her. Of loosing what they had found over the last few weeks. He slammed the wine ledger shut, he wasn't going to get anything done, he'd read the same line numerous times already. He would polish the silver, it was something to occupy his hands and hopefully his mind. He really shouldn't, it didn't need to be done, and she'd already been forcing him to sit down more. To let the footmen take over more of the harder tasks around the house. It all served to fuel his frustration, he began polishing with a new fury.

The wine delivery arrived and Elsie watched from the small courtyard as he signed for it and then started lugging it towards the cellar himself. This had to stop, and it had to stop now. As he entered his pantry she stormed in the back door, and then into his pantry slamming the door behind her. "Charles Carson, what on Earth do you think you're doing?! I told you... I asked you to let the footmen do that!"

He spun on his heel to face her, "I'm perfectly capable of doing my job thank you very much Mrs. Hughes. I rather LIKE doing my job, now if you'd kindly leave me to it."

"No! I will not! And why are you polishing the silver again? Why are you making extra work for yourself? Are you daft? You know you're supposed to be delegating tasks, you're not to be doing this all on your own. Not again." She was still yelling, her anger driven from the fear of him having another episode, or this time a real heart attack. What would she do if she lost him?

"If you've only come in here to yell at me then just go Elsie, I don't want to fight with you today!" His voice was raising steadily the longer they continued, he knew he should just apologize but really he didn't feel like it. Not with her acting like this.

"Why? Because the beloved Mrs. James never dared to argue with you?" She snorted and turned towards the door, stopping only to look over her shoulder at him once more. "I promise you Mr. Carson ... if you work yourself into an early grave I will never forgive you." Opening the door she stormed out once more and into her own sitting room slamming the door behind her and leaning back against it with her eyes closed.

Cora had heard about the fights downstairs from her former ladies maid, they never seemed to disrupt the running of the house so she never felt the need to do anything about them. She hadn't ever witnessed one herself however. Sitting with a book in her hand she watched the housekeeper seem to struggle to keep herself upright. "Everything alright Mrs. Hughes?"

Her eyes snapped open and she stumbled forwards catching hold of one of the bookshelves to stop herself from hitting the floor completely. "M'Lady! I'm sorry...did I miss the bell? I was only out back if you'd rang and I missed it I apologize..."

"No no... Everyone else is out so I just came down to meet you here. I trust things are alright with Mr. Carson?"

Groaning mentally Elsie put on a smile, "Of course M'lady...he just chooses to ignore me when I wish he wouldn't."

"Men never learn do they?" Setting her book down she smiled again, "Now let's discuss this housekeeper business. How is Janie doing?"

"She's coming along, Mrs. James apparently hadn't given her any sort of training so we're working on it. I do believe she could easily run the house during the year when she's not expected to tend to parties and houseguests. She'd do alright while you're back at Downton, I don't think she'll be ready to be alone during a season however...even with Mr. Carson here." And she certainly wouldn't know to look after the daft man, she thought to herself, hiding the look of annoyance as best as she could.

The smile on Cora's face widened a bit, knowing exactly what the other woman was thinking. "Well...I had a thought. I've spoken with Mary and she's no plans of coming to London next year either. I was considering asking you to come with us again, at least for one more season. You can see Janie on her way with more training..." And keep Carson in line she added mentally wondering if Mrs. Hughes had the same ability to know exactly what she wasn't saying.

"I... I hadn't thought of that M'Lady... I don't see why that wouldn't work just fine. Anna can manage in my absence well enough." And I can make sure he doesn't work himself to death, with a carefully hidden, yet relieved sigh she nodded. "Perhaps next year I won't get myself lost."

With a laugh Cora nodded, "How's your hand by the way?"

"Oh just fine M'Lady, a bit bruised still but it was well worth it." Smiling she recalled that day, the day she had stepped up to protect her man. Yes, that was how she thought of him, as hers. Biting the inside of her lip she waited to be excused, for this meeting to be over...so that she could consider her next move when it came to him.

"Well...that was easy enough." Standing she smiled as Mrs. Hughes opened the door for her, "Oh before I forget...we'll be out for dinner tonight, but back hopefully early."

"Yes M'Lady, I'll inform the staff." She watched as Cora climbed the stairs, mumbling softly she went to tell the cook to, well not cook, and hoped that dinner hadn't already been started.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Same as always. I don't own them I just want to**

Charles stood bent over his desk, conflicted. He needed her to know he was fine. He was strong, his heart was fine. He also knew he should listen more often, he just wasn't sure how to deal with the changes life was giving him. Whenever they fought he threw himself into his work, whenever he was upset he polished the silver. It was how he'd been for as long as he could remember. He knew she was back in her sitting room just one door over, checking the time he knew he'd have enough time to speak with her before ringing the dressing gong. Straightening to his full height he crossed the room and eased the door open, and then stood in front of her sitting room door for a few minutes, fingertips resting on the wood just above the door handle. Drawing up the courage he found somewhere near his toes he turned the handle and stepped inside silently.

She was...crying? One of the things he couldn't bear to see was a woman crying, but the sight of this woman crying nearly did him in. Crossing the room in a few quick strides he was kneeling down beside her before he could even speak. "Elsie? Elsie what's wrong?"

"Oh you go away!" She pulled back before he could take hold of her hands, still so very angry with him, didn't want him to see her like this.

"No Elsie, I wont. I'm not leaving, not until you talk to me." Placing his hands on the arms of her chair he turned her to face him directly, "Yell at me, hit me, I don't care...but I'm not leaving."

"You... I..." She sighed softly, she wasn't even sure why she was crying it had just happened. Normally when she was this angry she at least held on until she'd gone to bed. "I don't want you to see me like this. Please..."

He silenced her with a kiss, his lips pressed lightly to hers. When she didn't push him away he stood slowly gathering her in his arms and crossing to the settee where he sat down and situated her on his lap. "I'm sorry love. I'm sorry I was stupid, I don't know why I said that." Running his hand over her back slowly, he watched her face.

"I was so angry with you...and then that stupid wine delivery, and you were doing it all yourself. Charles you're going to kill yourself one of these days. I know you can do it...but you shouldn't. Please. I'm not ready to loose you."

"Oh Elsie... I'm not going anywhere." Wrapping his arms around her a bit tighter he pulled her close guiding her head to his shoulder.

She unbuttoned the front of his shirt, just enough to slip her hand in and rest it against his chest. Feeling the thump of his heart under her palm. When he'd collapsed she had been terrified, had barely made it through dinner before allowing herself to feel. When he'd had the Spanish flu, she spent every moment she could spare at his bedside, and when she'd been afraid of being ill her only thought had been to spare him the pain of knowing what she was facing.

He could feel the tension in her neck and shoulders, one large hand moved to knead gently at the muscles there. His touch gentle but firm, easing away what he could. "I'm sorry, I'll try and remember to slow down." He pressed his lips to the top of her head inhaling deeply, surrounding himself with the smell of her.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you, and I'm sorry I didn't come to you last night. I know you didn't get much sleep either." She didn't move, only relaxed against him slowly, letting his touch ease the tension. The sex was amazing, but if she really thought about it this is what she had craved all these years. The closeness, the simple touch, the silent understanding.

He let his thoughts drift, considering what she had said about coming to his room. He knew that sneaking around would be possible when they got home, but so very much harder. Pulling her closer he considered what to say. "Elsie?"

"Mmm?" Her eyes had drifted shut, her finger idly drawing patterns on his chest under his shirt.

"What do you think about getting married? We don't have to tell anyone...but then...if we were caught. Well..."

She bolted upright on his lap, her eyes wide as she looked at him. "Charles? What...I mean... Why all of the sudden?" Who was she kidding, what part of their new found relationship wasn't sudden? The thought both excited her and terrified her at the same time. She knew he had a point though, what if they were caught?

He smiled at her, one of those rare genuine smiles. "Nothing has to change as far as everyone else is concerned. I don't mind. Though we could speak with his Lordship...see what he thinks. It would be rather nice to have a cottage, or even a room with a bigger bed..."

She had begun worrying her lip, biting down on the pink flesh with white teeth. The thought was hard to swallow, telling anyone, they could loose their jobs...their home...their everything.

"Elsie I have money put away... you don't have to worry I will take care of you." Moving he took her face between his hands, "Whatever happens I'll take care of you, if they don't want us married and working we can always offer to retire. I just thought...it might be easier to do so secretly here if we went that route. Where no one knows us."

"Charles... I... give me a bit to think about it? I had thought we would retire together eventually, and probably marry because we don't know how to live alone. I never expected... I didn't think you felt the same way I did."

Kissing her lightly he smiled, "I was afraid to act, afraid you wouldn't feel the same. Afraid of loosing the friendship we have. I'll give you as long as you need, we don't have to marry here in London. It just came to mind as being rather convenient. I guess I should probably get up and ring the gong..." With a sigh he let his hand drift down from her cheeks to her shoulders, his thumbs brushing against her neck.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you...the family will be out for dinner tonight. Her Ladyship said that they hoped to be back early, or at least she hoped they'd be back early."

"Forgot to tell me hmm? Or were you mad enough at me to let me ring the gong and stand there looking like a fool?" He was grinning, bringing his forehead to rest against hers.

"I'd never allow you to look a fool intentionally my man..." She sighed softly taking it all in, there she was an old woman, sitting on a mans lap. He'd proposed, asked her the one question she'd heard twice before and denied both times. The second time she denied it because of him, because she was hopelessly in love with the man she thought would never love her back. Of course she was going to say yes, she'd be a fool to say no...but just not quite yet. There were things she needed to straighten out herself first.


	13. Chapter 13

Elsie knew she should do as the doctor had told her. She was supposed to have checked in with him during the season, a simple check up really. It was one of those things she never shared with Charles, she always planned it for when he was gone, but now she was here. Dr. Clarkson had given her a recommendation, a friend in London she could go see. She had made an appointment and the date was quickly approaching. She was stuck with the internal debate of what to do. Tell him knowing he'd want to accompany her? Simply "go out" on her half day, knowing he'd probably want to accompany her so she wouldn't get turned around again. Shoving the thoughts aside she turned her attention back to Janie, she had been letting the girl take over the rotas with supervision. "Janie you've missed that number there, don't forget to add it in."

"Yes Mrs. Hughes." Was the only reply as the girl sighed and rubbed at her face, going back to refigure the sums. She'd been at it for an hour and a half already and she kept making mistakes.

"Why don't you go for a bit. Take a break, these things are enough to drive a person mad." She smiled as Janie scampered off and the sound of the back door opening and closing could be heard. Leaning back in her seat she let her head fall backwards and her eyes close. She still hadn't given Charles an answer either, unsure if she was really ready for marriage. Chewing on her lip she opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. When she entered service she hadn't ever expected to marry, had run from marriage wanting to stand on her own two feet. On the other hand she'd come to rather enjoy sleeping next to him, or usually on him as the size of his bed dictated, could she risk loosing everything she'd spent her life on for marriage?

Sitting up again she pushed the rota aside and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, neither hers. The paper felt different, the pen didn't work as well as hers at home, at the moment she was kicking herself for not bringing it. She would write to her sister, the one person she knew would set her head straight.

He stood watching her silently, years of training had paid off. He'd heard Janie leave and had hoped to talk to her, but she seemed to need something. Something he couldn't pin point, something he probably just wouldn't understand. Slipping away he decided to make her a cup of tea and go from there. He prepared her tea exactly as she liked it, plucked a few biscuits from the tin and set them on a plate. Making his way back to her office he took a few moments to watch her again, he could spend his day doing just this and be happier than he ever thought possible. Crossing the room he gently set the tea and biscuits on the small table that was nestled between to chairs before moving behind her, making a bit of noise as he did so not wanting to startle her.

"I'll be done in just a moment Janie, then we can get back to work."

With a grin he brought his hands down onto her shoulders, brushing at the skin of her neck lightly. "I brought you tea."

With a smile she reached up and gave his hand a pat, "Thank you." Setting her pen down she tucked the letter away and stood, heading for her seat next to the table, "None for yourself?"

"No, I'm alright." With a wave of his hand he took the seat opposite her, "Any plans for your half day tomorrow?"

She swallowed the mouthful of tea and glanced at him. With a sigh she turned her gaze to the liquid in her cup, "I've got a doctors appointment I need to see to, other than that I'm going to attempt to find my way around without getting lost again."

"The doctor? Are you ill? Is there..." He was silenced as she put her hand up, and then dropped it to cover his.

"I'm fine. I go every year to make certain there are no changes...it's really nothing Charles."

"You go every year? Why have I never known?"

"Because you've no need to know. And yes I go during the season when it's easier to get away. Honestly, there's nothing you need to worry about."

"I'm coming with you. I'll not have you getting lost again, do you know where this doctor is? I assume Dr. Clarkson has sent the recommendation?"

She rolled her eyes, not even bothering to hide the gesture. While it was sweet that he cared, it wasn't as though she was a small child. "Yes he did and you may come if you wish...but I'll not have you pacing the floor the entire time." Picking up a biscuit she held it out at him, "Go on you know you want one. I know you well enough by now to know that all four of these aren't for me, even if you would let me eat them."

With a smirk he took the biscuit and ate it quietly, glancing to her now and then. Drawing in a slow breath he spoke, "Why did you never tell me? Before...why take Mrs. Patmore with you and not me?"

Setting down her cup she just watched him for a few minutes, "Charles I didn't want to thrust it upon you. I wasn't sure...and I wasn't about to ask you to come tell me if you could feel it there too. I also didn't want you worried, the last thing you need is more stress to deal with."

He simply nodded, before standing with a sigh. "If there's ever a next time, and I hope that there never will be, please...just tell me?"

"Of course." She stood as well, moving to straighten his tie and then smoothing her hands over his chest. "Thank you for the tea."

"Any time Mrs. Hughes, any time." He covered her hands with his own, releasing his hold and taking a step back as he heard the back door open. "Back to work I guess. I'll see you later."

Nodding she smiled, glancing past him to Janie. "Ready to have another go Janie?"

"I believe so Mrs. Hughes...unless you're busy?"

"No come on in, let's get this finished."


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Not mine, Fellowes still won't let them do what I want them to. Says he has the rights to them. Pity. So I borrowed them instead**

Another week had passed, and then another. They were nearing the end of the London Season and she still hadn't given him an answer. Truthfully she still wasn't sure what to do. She had never before been so indecisive in her life, normally she faced whatever was happening, made a decision, and moved on with her life. This was so very different however. They'd hosted a dinner party and the guests had lingered far too long. By the time the house was locked up the pair of them had simply trudged up stairs to bed. She made a show of going to her own room as she did every night, but tonight was the first time she realized that she had very little left in her own room, as she began to undress, she let out a soft groan. Her night gown, and her dressing gown were both in his room. Flopping down on the bed she waited, tired and beyond uncomfortable she could feel her agitation rising steadily.

Charles moved about his room readying for bed, as he pulled his dressing gown off the hook he found hers hanging under it. Looking to the arm chair he saw her night gown and winced slightly. She had mentioned earlier that all she had wanted was to get out of her dress and corset and into something a little more comfortable, and now she was going to have to wait. Even though he'd oiled the hinges on the door separating the mens and womens quarters it was still too early to safely slip though and to her room. At least he knew she'd come, and then maybe he could make her forget her worries for a bit.

Prying herself off the bed she paced the small area, kicking the bed post lightly now and then. Arms crossed over her chest she waited...and waited... and waited some more. By the time it was finally quiet she was beyond frustrated. Uncomfortable, hot, and just agitated. Slipping from her room as quietly as possible she glanced down the hall before opening the door and running into Mr. Bates on the other side.

"Mrs. Hughes...we really should stop meeting like this." His voice was a whisper, the glint in his eyes once again and a smile on his face.

She gave him the look. The look that could turn a house maid into a weeping pile of ash.

It didn't work on him. Not in this setting, "Anna's nearly perfected that look you know... you should be proud." Reaching over he turned the handle on the door to Mr. Carsons room and nudged her through it. "Good night you two."

Charles looked up from the book in his hands and, to Elsies shock, seemed completely un-phased. "Goodnight Mr. Bates."

Closing the door, she let her forehead rest against the smooth cool wood. She felt his hands on her shoulders, and then on her back. Having had much more practice with the small buttons and hooks of womens clothing recently he began to undress her. They didn't need words, he knew exactly what she needed. As the dress dropped to the floor he bent down to pick it up, gently easing one foot up and then the other so she could step out of it. He hung it up next to his livery, smoothing any creases carefully.

She turned her head to watch him, smiling softly at his care. For both her and her clothes, and then there was the sight of her dress hanging next to his livery that just seemed so very right. As she began to reach for the fastenings on her corset his hands covered hers, stopping her.

"Let me. Please?"

Nodding she let her hands come to rest below her forehead, her eyes drifting shut as his fingers ghosted over her skin, followed by his lips. A shiver ran down her spine and she could feel him smile against the back of her neck. As he unfastened her corset she felt some of the tension begin to fade away, taking a good deep breath once it was off she let out a sigh of relief.

"Arms up." When he spoke his lips were next to her ear, and she couldn't help but lean against him even if only momentarily. Lifting her arms she felt him pull her chemise up and off before hanging it with her dress, her corset laid open over the back of his arm chair. Kissing along her shoulder he wrapped his arms around her from behind, holding her there against him for a bit before continuing. Deft fingers found the ribbon of her knickers and untied it letting them fall to the floor as her dress had. Crouching down again he eased one foot and then the other out, leaning forward he placed light kisses along the backs of her thighs before standing.

She moaned, pressing the back of her hand against her mouth trying to keep quiet.

"Sorry...couldn't resist." Standing again he gathered her into his arms and set her down on the bed. Kneeling in front of her, he picked up first her left foot setting it in his lap as he unfastened her shoe and slipped it off, then her stockings followed. Repeating the same with her right foot. Leaning forward he pressed his lips to her knee, glancing up at her, a smile playing on his lips as he watched her face. Her eyes were closed, lips parted, he could see that the pace of her breathing had sped some. A few more kisses were placed across her thighs before he moved to sit beside her.

She whimpered softly at the loss of contact, "Charles..." her voice had dropped to that tone that drove him wild.

"Shh love, let me finish." He moved once more to sit behind her, pulling her back against him. His need was more than noticeable, but he was going to take care of her fist. He began easing the pins from her hair letting it tumble down over his hands and across her back. Once all the pins were gathered he set them on the side table, and began to work at easing the tension from her body. Massaging his way from her finger tips to her shoulders, then from her neck up to her head. As he massaged at her scalp he gently tugged at her hair, easing the stress and tension a bit more. She had relaxed against him, her body molded against his. Brushing his fingers over her forehead he worked at the small muscles of her face, her jaw, her neck, and then her chest. Letting his hands come to rest over her breasts he simply held her there.

"Charles...I want you." Her voice was soft, the words running together only further showing him just how relaxed she finally was.

"I'm right here love." Dipping his head down he began kissing her shoulder once more, running his fingertips over her arms.

Her movements were slow, a bit uncoordinated really. Turning she slipped a leg on either side of his, bringing her lips to his for a slow lazy kiss as her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his pyjama top. With a frustrated sigh she gave it a tug and sent buttons skittering across the floor, she'd fix it later. Easing it off his shoulders she nudged him until he laid back on the bed. Raising herself enough she gave his pyjama bottoms a tug, getting both them and his shorts down far enough for him to kick them off. Turning her attention back to him she pressed herself down against him, her hands running over his chest slowly.

He groaned, feeling her heat and wetness against him. "Elsie please..."

Leaning down she placed feather light kisses over his chest slowly, "What is it you want my love?"

This was new for him, her being on top. He was fairly certain it was new for her too, but suddenly he wanted to experience it very, very badly. He didn't want to wait any longer, easing a hand between them he pressed himself up and into her with a groan. Her soft gasp spurring him on as he moved his hands to her hips, "This. I want this."

He wasn't sure he could be slow and gentle as he tried desperately to find a rhythm with her, pressing up against her as she moved on top of him, his hands guiding her hips. Her hands firmly planted on his chest, she let her head fall back as she moaned. Her hair brushing the tops of his thighs as she began to move faster, forcing him to meet her pace. His attentions had left her on the edge for far too long. She needed a release as badly as he did, it wasn't going to take long. Every fiber of her being felt as if it were on fire, leaning forward her nipples brushed across his chest, her lips came crashing down on his. The now all too familiar feeling building rapidly in the pit of her stomach. "Oh Charles...I can't...I need..."

"Let it go love...Let...it go" His hips were meeting hers thrust for thrust, his grip on her hips tightened as he felt her tumble over that edge, clenching down around him was all it took for him to join her.

Pulling her close he held her as they both fought to catch their breath, his fingers running through her hair slowly. Every bone in his body feeling as if it were made of liquid. "Elsie that was..."

"Life altering?" She offered. "Awe inspiring?"

"And much more" he added with a soft laugh.

"I love you Charles." She found herself unable to move, and unable to keep her eyes open. The steady beat of his heart beneath her ear, the feeling of his chest rising and falling with each breath beneath her own chest, and the weight of his arms around her was all it took to lull her into a deep sleep.

"I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

Charles woke feeling the urge to move, and yet finding he couldn't. Something was on top of him, something warm. Running his hands over the object he found it was in fact a someone, it was Elsie. As the fog of sleep began to lift he smiled slightly and held her close, slowly beginning to roll onto his side, hoping she'd sleep through it. Thinking he may have accomplished his task he relaxed his hold only to realize there was nothing under him, the only thing keeping him in place was his knee and shoulder. Elsie shifted, mumbling in her sleep she stretched her legs out, effectively pushing his off the bed. The rest of his body followed hitting the floor with a resounding thud, the back of his head clipping the side table as he curled around her to keep her from getting hurt.

Robert glanced to the ceiling at the thump, his eyebrows raising. He couldn't sleep and had been pacing the house for the last few hours. The startled cry definitely sounded like a woman, but even the cook wasn't large enough to make that sound. He began climbing the stairs to the servants quarters, something had happened he wanted to be sure whomever it was was alright.

John jumped out of bed at the sound and grabbed for his cane and his dressing robe as he opened the door, he prayed a silent prayer that Mrs. Hughes at the very least was dressed. Knocking on the door he spoke loud enough to be heard, "Mr. Carson? Mr. Carson are you alright?"

Elsie scrambled off the floor and grabbed her nightgown yanking it on over her head before getting her dressing gown on. There was no way she was going to get his shirt on, not with all the missing buttons. Grabbing his pyjama pants she began tugging them on, somehow managing to get them under his body and on semi straight. Running to the door she threw it open. "Mr. Bates I think you'd better call for the doctor..."

"Mrs. Hughes? What's happened?" In all the times he'd seen her downstairs in her night clothes for whatever reason he'd never seen her hair down, in a braid perhaps, but never like this. He turned towards the stairs as Lord Grantham appeared. "I'll call him at once, what should I tell him he's coming for?"

"Mr. Carson's fallen, he hit his head...he won't wake up." She worried her lip, glancing to Lord Grantham, "I can't get him up onto his bed."

"Mr. Bates you go on, I'll help Mrs. Hughes." Robert stepped past both Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Bates glancing around the room quickly. The sight of her clothes didn't escape him, but now wasn't the time. He watched as she moved back to the butlers side kneeling down next to him.

"Wake up, please..." Her fingers brushed over his forehead lightly as she drew her lip between her teeth again. At the moment she could have cared less if the Queen herself were standing in the room with them, she was scared.

"Mrs. Hughes? Let's get him up into the bed, it'll be easier for the doctor to tend to him there." When she didn't look up he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Mrs. Hughes?"

"Oh! I'm sorry M'Lord." She moved back, allowing him to get to Charles.

As Robert shifted to lift Carson, Elsie moved to lift his lower half settling him back on the bed and moving to ease the pillows behind him keeping his head and shoulders elevated slightly. Before sitting down on the side of his bed and taking his hand in her own.

Robert paced a bit, his gaze settling on the pair of them. "I'm assuming you're not married...yet. I'm also assuming that something was going to be said soon?"

Her head snapped up, her eyes meeting his gaze. He didn't look angry, but suddenly she was terrified. "I...we...if someone has to leave, let it be me. Please don't take his work from him."

Sitting down in the arm chair he watched the pair of them for another moment. "I have no plans at firing either of you. Lord knows this house...well Downton...would fall down around us if I did. I don't normally pry into the lives of the staff, and obviously the running of things hasn't changed. But..." He paused, standing once more, "obviously something is going to have to change before one of the two of you is seriously injured."

Her gaze fell back to her hands which were still holding one of his, "He asked...I haven't given him an answer."

"I suggest you do, so that we can make some changes, or not...once we get back home."

Nodding she glanced to the door as Mr. Bates and the Doctor arrived. "Thank you M'Lord"

He only nodded in return exchanging a few words with the doctor before stepping outside the door and speaking to Bates. John slipped into the room and put a hand on each of Elsies shoulders easing her off the bed and guiding her out into the hallway as well, leaving the doctor to do what he needed. He kept his arm around her, keeping her steady. "It'll be alright Mrs. Hughes... Just a nasty bump to the head."

She was the strong one, always the care taker, and yet at the moment she could barely keep herself upright. When he'd collapsed at dinner she'd been able to keep things going, but now she couldn't. Perhaps it was the shock of waking up to him unconscious underneath her? Time seemed to drag on endlessly, though it'd only been a few minutes.

She heard his groan and straightened herself somewhat, looking towards the door expectantly. When the doctor stepped out he nodded to the three of them, "Your husband will be fine ma'am. He'll need to stay off his feet for a day or two, plenty of rest, someone to keep an eye on him. I've given him something for the pain, he's bound to have a headache for a while though. And you really should consider a larger bed. I'll come 'round in a day or two...I can show myself out." And as quickly as he came he was gone.

Elsie felt the color rise to her face, and everywhere else for that matter. As much as she wanted to avoid looking at either of the men standing before her she couldn't, bringing her head up she looked to one and then the other. Finding herself thoroughly annoyed at finding them both biting back laughter. "As we've no guests planned for dinner I'm sure we can manage, everything will run as planned M'Lord."

"Yes yes..I'm sure it will. Do try and get some rest tonight, I'll see that a larger bed is brought in...so long as you give him an answer and don't tell him about our chat."

Ducking her head, she wasn't sure if her face could get any redder, "Yes M'Lord."

"Goodnight Mrs. Hughes, Goodnight Bates."

"Goodnight M'Lord" They answered in unison, John considered the housekeeper for a moment before opening his door, "Your nightgowns on backwards Mrs. Hughes." Slipping into his room, he shut the door hoping she would see the humor and not skin him alive come morning.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Please excuse the excessive spacing between paragraphs...I tried a different word processing program -.-**

**Disclaimer: They still belong to Fellowes and not me**

Charles woke as the sunlight hit his face, with a groan he put a hand to the back of his head. Touching the tender lump brought tears to his eyes. He glanced to the door as it opened still a bit disoriented. Elsie slipped inside with a tray, her eyes were red and puffy. Had she been crying? What had happened to cause that? He began pushing himself to a sitting position quickly but was stopped by her hand on his chest.

"No you don't. You stay right there in bed." Setting the tray down she uncorked the bottle of medication the doctor left and carefully measured out a dose, leaning forward to bring it to his lips. Rolling her eyes as he stole the best glance he could down her top, not that he could see much. Setting the bottle down she retrieved the bowl of porridge and sat down on the bed next to him.

"Elsie, I'm a grown man I can feed my..." His words were cut off as she shoved a spoonful into his mouth.

She was in a mood, not angry, no she couldn't be angry with him over what had happened. It had taken hours of sitting next to his bed watching him sleep for her heart rate to slow once more, but she couldn't be angry with him. Mr. Bates she could be furious with however, she hadn't even greeted him with a good morning today. It was all just a cloud of embarrassment that hung over her, what they'd been doing...how they'd been found out. The sheer number of times Mr. Bates had found them in one way or another. She knew she should just tell him yes, that she would marry him and have it done with...but she was still so very unsure of the whole thing.

"Elsie wha..." every time he began to speak she shoved another spoonful into his mouth, the morning had already begun and she was driving him mad. And she hadn't said anything more than to tell him he was staying put either. Reaching out he took the bowl from her and then the spoon setting them both on the very same table he'd hit his head on. "What's wrong?"

"Eat your breakfast Charles. Please just eat your damn breakfast." Closing her eyes she stood and knelt down on the floor to begin collecting the buttons from his night shirt.

"I'm sorry...for whatever I've done. I'm sorry. My heads a little fuzzy, I don't remember what I did or knowing me, what I said..."

"You've done nothing, until this moment anyways." She eyed his bowl again before continuing her search. Where had all the damned things gone?

Sighing he picked up his bowl and returned to eating, at least she was letting him feed himself now. He groaned softly as she turned so that she was on her hands and knees in front of him, trying to force the images out of his mind.

"Don't you go getting any ideas Mr. Carson." Glancing over her shoulder with a faint grin she used the arm chair to help herself back to a standing position. Setting the handful of buttons on his dresser she opened drawers pulling out a fresh pair of pyjamas. Sitting in the arm chair she held them on her lap while she waited for him to finish eating.

Setting the now empty bowl aside he turned to look at her, taking in every detail. How quiet she was, how tired she looked, her head bowed and hands fiddling with one of the buttons on the shirt in her lap. "Elsie what is it? If I've not done anything what's wrong?"

"Just a lot on my mind. Let's get you changed so that I can fix your shirt." Standing once more she eased the blankets back and unbuttoned the few buttons that had remained on his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down into his lap. "So tell me what these things are and we'll face them together mm?"

She urged him to sit forward so that she could ease the clean shirt on. "His Lordship knows. Mr. Bates has more cheek than is good for any of us, and I just don't know what to do. Satisfied? Stand up and change your pants" Using the opportunity of his hands working with his shirt to stand she moved back to gather the box of sewing supplies she'd brought up earlier and sat down with his shirt, the buttons, and her tools. Threading the needle she put all of her attention into her work.

"What did he say? We haven't been..."

"No. We haven't. He said he'd see to it that a bigger bed was brought up for you...so you don't fall out again."

Stopping in front of her once he was dressed again he used one finger to tip her chin up as he knelt down, "Then what don't you know love? Let me help? Is it about getting married?"

She glanced away for a moment and nodded, trying to form the words that she wanted to say. "I'm...I just...it's a lot to consider all at once. I never thought I'd get married, then I started to think that we'd retire together and probably marry so that we could live together...but I never thought you felt this way too. To be honest it's somewhat frightening."

"Oh Elsie, we don't have to do anything. If you're not ready to get married we won't. I just thought it might...save us some trouble back home."

"I've got time yet. Get back to bed now, I'll sit with you a bit before I've got to go back down." She was ending the conversation, she was uncomfortable with it still. Frustrated with herself mostly, and still so terribly embarrassed.

By the time he was settled in the bed again there was a knock at the door that was still standing partially open. "Yes?"

Lord Grantham pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped in with a faint smile, waving at the pair of them to stay where they were. "No, don't get up. I was just coming to see how you were doing today Carson. You gave us a bit of a scare last night."

"Oh, fine M'Lord... A little fuzzy in the head, but I'll be fine."

"Well... when you're back on your feet I'd like to speak with you. The doctor is here he'll be up shortly." With a nod, and a carefully hidden smirk he left the room again, holding the door open for the doctor as the man made it to the top of the stairs.


	17. Chapter 17

Two days passed before Charles was allowed out of bed, two nights of Elsie sleeping on the other side of the wall. He understood her need for space, things had gone so quickly. Descending the stairs he was happy to at least find her at the table with the rest of the staff, and speaking to Mr. Bates again to boot. He sat quickly before the staff even had a chance to all stand, "Have I missed anything important in the last two days?"

A chorus of 'No Mr. Carson' rang through the staff and they tucked into their meal. It wasn't long before the bells began ringing, the staff dispersing around them. He moved to fix her tea, setting the cup in front of her. "I've got to speak with his Lordship today, and tomorrow is our last half day before we go home. Would you like to go to dinner with me?"

Elsie took hold of the cup and smiled over the edge of it at him, "I think I'd like that very much. You did say you owed me dinner for coming to your rescue..."

"That I did. Well then...as soon as we can tomorrow, we'll go out for the afternoon. I know just where I'd like to take you."

"Alright then. Be off with you Mr. Carson breakfast will be ready to go up shortly." Standing she paused letting her hand rest on the back of his neck lightly before heading to go over the linen rota she had left in the hands of Janie yesterday. Slipping into her sitting room she smiled a bit to herself, writing to her sister had been the best thing she could have done. They may not have always seen eye to eye, but the guidance and comfort they could offer each other if only via post was incomparable. She felt lighter, she'd actually slept last night too. Thought not as well as she did crammed in that tiny bed with him, but well enough. She knew her answer, she'd known it all along, but now she was certain it was the right one. Settling in she began checking over the rota and found it better than she expected, only a few small errors. Yes, one more season spent here in London helping Janie along would do just fine, the girl was smart she just needed a bit of guidance.

Charles was not looking forward to serving breakfast this morning, nor was he looking forward to this talk he was to have with Lord Grantham. Climbing the stairs he pushed his feelings as far back as he possibly could and readied himself for the day ahead. When only his Lordship came down for breakfast Carson mentally groaned, he knew this discussion had to take place, but he had hoped to put it off for a while at least.

As he finished eating Robert stood, "Ah Carson...if you'd join me in the library?"

"Certainly M'Lord." Opening the door Charles waited for the Earl to exit and then followed, once inside the library he remained standing, hands clasped behind his back.

"Hows your head? I'm gathering it's better since Mrs. Hughes has let you out of your room." Grinning he took a seat giving the man a once over.

"Yes M'Lord, just a bit tender now, but for the most part much better."

"How long have you been sleeping with my housekeeper?" Honestly he wasn't surprised, but something had to be done. Plans had to be made, he knew Bates had details but the man wouldn't loosen his lips with them.

Charles' eyes widened considerably, he felt as though his collar had shrunk two sizes instantly. "I...well...we..." Sighing softly he focused on a spot above Lord Granthams head, "Only a few weeks M'Lord, since...since she found her self lost in the city."

"I see. And I hear you've asked her to marry you?" Robert, somehow, kept his face impassive.

"I have M'lord, though she's not given me an answer yet."

"Were you planning on telling me? Or just keeping it secret? Really Carson...what did you think would happen?"

"I'm not sure M'Lord, I assume we would have told you. I had hoped we'd be allowed to stay on, otherwise I'm willing to retire if necessary. I'll go if it means she may keep her position."

Robert laughed softly shaking his head, "I hope neither of you will be going anywhere. You know she said the same thing? Said that she'd leave if it meant you could stay. We'd be lost without you. I'm constantly being reminded that things are changing. If you'd asked a few years ago I would have been absolutely shocked at the idea of a butler and housekeeper marrying. Now though? After all we've been through? Arrangements will be made should she accept your proposal, a cottage or a shared room. I've already sent word home and asked that a larger bed be moved to your room...we can't have you knocking yourself unconscious now can we?"

Charles could only blink slowly, as he attempted to bring his jaw up and back into place. "I...Thank you M'Lord."

"One last thing, we've only a week or so left here, if she accepts I'll gladly let the two of you go early...and take your time getting back to Downton."

"That would be very nice M'Lord. Thank you again." He wanted to go...to find her, to tell her what had been said. Somehow he kept himself in place, his exterior smooth as glass while inside he was dancing a jig.

"Go on then, let me know what happens so that arrangements can be made hm?"

"Yes M'Lord." Turning he left the library and slipped down the servants stairs as quickly as his legs could carry him without being at an all out run. He knocked on her sitting room door and found no answer. Turning the knob he stepped inside to find it empty. Where could she be? Usually at this time of day she was going over things with Janie. Turning again he checked his pantry, the kitchen, the servants hall. She was no where to be found.

As soon as Charles had gone up for breakfast she'd slipped up to the servants quarters and began packing. Not only her things, but his as well. She'd spoken with Lord Grantham this morning, he knew she was going to accept and he'd already given them the rest of the season off. Tickets had been purchased and a room booked in York. She was humming lightly as she folded his clothes, her back to the door that stood open half way.

He'd finally found Janie who'd said she'd seen Mrs. Hughes head upstairs to her room. Climbing the stairs he made his way to her room first, finding it empty...completely empty, fear clutched him like nothing else. Had she packed up and left? No, she wouldn't...would she? Then he heard it, the sound of her humming coming from the other side of the wall. Slipping out he eased the door between the mens and womens hallway open and stepped through, stopping outside his door to watch her silently.

"You may as well come in Charles, I had hoped to be done before you'd finished your chat with his Lordship."

Stepping inside he pushed the door shut, he should've known better than to try and sneak up on her, the woman heard everything. Slipping his arms around her waist, he pulled her back against him, "I take it you've made up your mind then?"

"I have Mr. Carson, I have." Leaning back she ran her hands over the top of his and smiled.


	18. Chapter 18

The wedding had been a quiet one, though a surprise to both of them when Lord and Lady Grantham appeared as witnesses. They had been bundled off to the train and sent on their way. A week and a half, alone, together...and married. Charles had pulled her into his lap as soon as it was apparent they wouldn't be sharing their car with anyone. She had protested a bit, at least until he kissed her, his hands pulling her tight against him and his lips trailing along her jaw and neck. As the train slowed to their stop, he let go of her and helped straighten her clothing. They could not get to the hotel fast enough if you asked him.

Else gave him a once over, smoothing his clothing and straightening his tie. Reaching up she brushed the curl on his forehead back towards it's normal resting spot, knowing it wasn't going to stay put for long. With a smile she gathered her bags, making certain to bend over in front of him as often as possible, his groans egging her on.

The inn they were staying in wasn't far from the train station, the walk gave them both a little time to cool off. They walked in a comfortable silence, there wasn't anything that needed to be said. Smiles and glances to one another spoke volumes. Married. Both had spent their lives thinking this was something they'd never experience. Marriage just wasn't a part of a life in service, Elsie glanced to the simple gold band on her finger and smiled once again. She waited as he checked them in, lost in her own little world it wasn't until she felt his hand on her arm that she came back to the present, "Sorry...I was miles away."

Laughing softly he picked up their bags and set off towards the stairs, "It seems Lord Gratham has booked us a suite. We'll have to be sure to thank him later, did you know he'd already done this?"

She followed behind him, wishing he'd let her at least carry her own bag. "I did. I spoke to him before you came down. He asked if I was going to accept and when I told him I was, he informed me that he was glad because he'd already made arrangements."

"If I'd known he'd be so open to this...I'd have done it years ago." Opening the door he moved inside and set her trunk on the bed, his on the floor next to it. "I'm going to go get freshened up a bit...I'll be back in a moment."

With a smile and a nod she watched him leave. Unpinning her hat she hung it on a hook and then her coat. Moving to the bed she opened her case and began to look through it. She heard him return but hadn't stopped what she was doing.

Charles stepped inside once more hanging his jacket and his hat as well glancing towards her and groaning softly again. She was bent over the bed and it brought ideas to his head. Ideas he probably shouldn't have. He couldn't very well have her like that...could he? Oh how he wanted to, had dreamed of such things. Crossing the room swiftly he pressed himself up against her backside, his hands moving to her hips.

"Welcome back Mr. Carson." She smirked at him over her shoulder. The next thing she knew her skirts were sliding up her legs. "Charles?"

"Mmm?" His mind was set on his task. "Gods Elsie..." With her dress bunched around her waist he unfastened her knickers with now practiced hands and roughly pushed them down to the floor. "How I've wanted this..." His mind was focused on one thing, and one thing only. The sight in front of him was almost too much. He ran his hands over the newly exposed flesh of her backside, gently kneading as he groaned again. Brushing his thumbs over her center he smiled as she moaned.

"Charles...I..."She was cut off as she felt his tongue brush over that wonderfully sensitive bundle of nerves. "Oh...oh..." Words were lost, the tension that had built with her apprehension drained instantly. This was new on not one but two counts.

"Let me have you like this Elsie...please..." He pulled back only long enough to speak before returning to his former occupation of pleasuring her. If there was one thing Charles loved it was watching her come undone, knowing that he was the one that drove her to that point. As his mouth moved over her, licking, nibbling, and sucking gently he eased two fingers into her taking her throaty moans as a sign to go on.

She wasn't going to last long at all, his attentions on the train and now this? She'd imagined him bending her over his desk more times than she'd ever admit. "Don't... don't stop...please don't stop..."

Curling his fingers just enough to bring her the release she so desperately wanted he sped his actions along, smiling against her as he felt her body tense and she fell over the edge around his fingers. He slowed his hand but didn't stop, with his free hand he tugged at his case and guided her feet up onto it, giving her the height she would need before he stood and toed his shoes off before unfastening his pants and kicking them off. He heard the belt hit the door behind him with a thud.

Withdrawing his fingers he entered her swiftly, filling her completely as his hands ran over her behind once again. There was nothing slow and intimate about this, pure need drove him as he thrust into her over and over. Hands gripping at her hips as he watched the way her body moved against him. The sound of her moans filling his ears, drove him on.

"Charles...Oh Charles... Harder. Please..." Every thrust of his pushed her breasts further out of her corset, freeing them from their tight confines somewhat. As he fulfilled her request she found she no longer cared about anything. She felt another climax building rapidly deep within her, arching back she met his thrusts adding to the friction between them.

"Gods Elsie... let go for me." He couldn't hold on much longer, but he wouldn't leave her unfulfilled. Letting one hand slide off her hip he found that little nub and pressed his finger to it, rubbing in a circular motion as he continued thrusting into her hard. Harder than he ever would have imagined he could...or should. Feeling her tighten around him was all it took, his hands moved to her behind once more, gripping the flesh in his palms as he cried out, his own orgasm washing over him. Collapsing forward he let his arms rest on either side of her, his forehead pressed against her back. "Oh Elsie...Oh love..."

She found enough energy to push her case to the floor not caring one bit if its contents scattered across the floor. As he rolled to the side where her case had been, he took hold of her, pulling her against him. Somehow finding the strength to maneuver them both onto the bed completely.

"I'm...I'm so sorry...I..."

"What on Earth are you apologizing for?" She fought to speak as she worked at catching her breath. "Don't you even think of not repeating that..."

"I love you Elsie. So very much... Going to take a little nap now..."

**A/N: I really need to figure out why it's adding extra spacing on here...OR...stop adding the spacing into my original writing. Sorry!**


	19. Chapter 19

**So this is just one big A/N! **

**I haven't forgotten about you guys! And I apologize if you get excited when an e-mail pops up and notifies you that there's a new chapter. I just wanted to thank everyone who voted for this story to win A Highclere Award in the Novel category. I freaking LOVE you guys! I promise I'm working on an update...the faeries ran away with my writing ability for awhile, couple that with the fact that it's summer,I need to package up last years homeschool curriculum, and my children seem to think they need to be outside in the *gasp* sun. I'll try and update soon! **

**3**


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